I’ve been compared. Not by anyone in my life recently. Just by myself & my mind. I’ve been comparing myself.
I’ve been comparing my life, things I say, things I do, my happiness, my joy, my body, my face, my social media likes, everything you can think of I’ve been comparing to others & there things to.
Ever since middle school I’ve done this. I’ve compared everything that is mine to someone else & their stuff. But instead of dealing with it, I would shove it down and put it behind a wall. I would let pride comfort me and claim it as confidence.
I would put up this front of confidence and tell myself that I was better at this than they were. I had this when they didn’t. I would keep it together when they would fall apart. I would claim my confidence and say things to make myself feel better, make my pride grow more, to fuel my confidence. But in the end it wasn’t confidence, and now, all of that baggage I didn’t deal with, I am not forced to deal with it.
All those times in middle school when I felt like the lies were true. That I was fat, wasn’t worthy, wasn’t pretty enough. That I wasn’t needed, that I wasn’t wanted, that I wasn’t worth it, all those lies I would stuff them down in box and lock it. And never deal with it. I would just fake confidence and fuel my pride to keep it.
But that was never confidence. True confidence doesn’t run out. True confidence comforts you and helps you identify the lies. That confidence is found in God.
I can be confident and sure in Him always & forever. I don’t have to worry about being enough, because the One who is enough, made me. And I am washed in Jesus’ blood, made new, made flawless, made perfect. I am enough because, HE IS ENOUGH. I don’t have to worry about anything, because everything is under His control. He will make my troubled heart and soul, be still and be at peace.
I can claim now and forevermore: “I am fearfully and wonderfully made by God. I am enough.”